NOT REAL NEWS: A look at what didn't happen this weekAmerican Express profits jump 34%, helped by jump in new customers, higher spendingAtlanta or Afghanistan? Wild shootout breaks out at gas station with one gunman wielding an AKGay 30 Rock actor Maulik Pancholy is canceled from antiHungary's Orbán launches EU election campaign with pledge to 'occupy Brussels'France asks retailers to alert customers to cases of 'shrinkflation'Hawaii Supreme Court chides state's legal moves on water after deadly Maui wildfireTesla recalling nearly 4,000 Cybertrucks because accelerator pedal can get stuckEmma Roberts keeps it casual in a hoodie and Dragon Ball Z tCaitlin Clark 'is set to sign eight